Skip to main content
A Singapore Government Agency Website How to identify
Official website links end with .gov.sg
Government agencies communicate via .gov.sg websites (e.g. go.gov.sg/open). Trusted websites
Secure websites use HTTPS
Look for a lock () or https:// as an added precaution. Share sensitive information only on official, secure websites.

Government officials will never ask you to transfer money or disclose bank log-in details over a phone call.

Call the 24/7 ScamShield Helpline at 1799 if you are unsure if something is a scam.

Youth Assist

Do I have to choose?

Helping you navigate being caught in-between.

Last updated 29 April 2025

Have you felt like you are caught in between your parents, and the only way to please one parent is to show that you dislike the other?

You may feel like you are being caught in between and be pressured to choose a side.

Add your alt text here

Examples of such situations:

  • Getting you to convey their words to the other parent on their behalf.

  • Urging you to take a side and agree with them.

  • Convincing you to spy on the other parent, particularly on new romantic relationships they have.

  • Asking for more information from you about the other parent.

  • Making remarks about the other parent that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Add your alt text here

What can you do if you feel caught in between?

If your parents feel resentment towards each other and are overwhelmed with difficult emotions, it may be difficult for them to recognise that they have put you in a painful position.

  • Use the “I” message technique:

    • When we communicate using "I" messages, we share what's in our hearts and minds without putting others on the defensive. It opens up space for dialogue with your parents and focuses on finding solutions rather than place blame.

  • Communicate your thoughts and feelings of discomfort with your parents. Share what you like them to do differently.

  • "I feel upset when I need to take a side when you both argue. I love both of you and wish that you could resolve your differences without asking me to choose."

  • "I feel hurt when you say I don’t love you because I agree with dad/mom. I feel differently about what happened during the fight, but I love both of you the same."